Why Training With Someone Changes How Hard You Work
Quick Intro
Most people work harder and keep going longer when they train with someone. Part of the reason is not wanting to be the one who lets the side down, and part is the support and sense of belonging that come from training together. Groups built around working as a team keep people exercising better than training alone, and even simple contact with others helps.
This article explains both effects, what the research shows and how to use them well.
Not Wanting to Let the Side Down
When people work together on a task where the team’s result depends on everyone keeping up, the less capable member often tries harder than they would alone. Researchers call this the Köhler effect.
In exercise studies, people paired with a partner who was somewhat stronger, even a virtual partner on a screen, held exercises such as planks longer than people training alone. The effect is strongest when the partner is moderately better, close enough that keeping up feels possible. When one partner is far ahead, the gap can feel out of reach and the extra effort fades.
This is why a training partner can lift your effort on days when you would otherwise ease off, and why it helps to choose, or set up, a partnership where the gap feels reachable. Training with a friend who is fitter than you covers how to keep it fair.
Support and Belonging
The second effect is social. Training with others gives you encouragement, company and someone expecting you to turn up. Feeling connected to other people is part of what helps new exercisers keep going, and good company tends to make exercise more enjoyable, which helps people stick with it.
A review of many studies compared different ways of exercising. Groups that were deliberately built around working together, with shared goals and a sense of being a team, kept people exercising better than standard exercise classes. Standard classes did about as well as home exercise with some contact from a leader. Home exercise with that contact did better than home exercise with none.
So the more the group feels like a team, the more it helps. But even a little contact with other people, such as a weekly check-in, makes a difference.
Ways to Train With Others
There are many ways to get these benefits:
- A training partner who meets you at set times for a walk, a run or a gym session.
- A class at a gym, community centre or online, ideally one where people get to know each other.
- A club or team, such as a running club, walking group or recreational sports team.
- Partner games and exercises, where the exercise itself is shared. The Friends guides, starting with Training With a Friend, cover contests and games built for two.
- Training as a couple, which has its own benefits and is covered in training as a couple and the Working Out Together guide.
- Remote contact, such as sharing your sessions with a friend or joining a video class.
The Downsides to Watch For
Training with others can also push you in unhelpful ways:
- Rushing and cutting corners. Racing someone can shorten repetitions or tempt you to keep going after your form has gone. Agree on what counts as a good repetition before you start.
- Always being the weaker one. If you lose every contest, motivation can drop over time. Swap who leads, use handicaps or compete against your own previous results.
- Pushing too hard too soon. Matching a fitter partner can mean doing more than you are ready for. Go at your own pace on hard sessions.
- Depending on someone else. If your partner cancels, have a plan to train anyway.
Who This Applies To
Most people benefit from training with others, but not everyone enjoys it, and that is fine. Some prefer to train alone and do so happily. If you train alone, small amounts of contact, such as telling a friend your plan or joining an online group, can still help you keep going.
FAQ
Is it better to train with someone fitter or someone at my level?
Someone a little fitter tends to lift your effort most. If the gap is large, adjust the session so it stays fair and enjoyable for both of you.
Do group classes help people keep exercising?
Classes that feel like a team, where people know each other and work together, help most. Even ordinary classes help compared with exercising alone with no contact.
I am shy. Will training with others still help?
Starting with one trusted partner or a small beginners’ class is often easier than a large group, and still brings the benefits.
What if my partner and I want different things from training?
Share the parts that suit you both, such as a warm-up or a walk, and do your own main sessions separately.
Related to training with a friend who is fitter than you, training as a couple, play is training, self-determination theory and Training With a Friend.