Stretching, Resisting and Anchoring a Partner | Friends

What This Guide Covers

In a lot of partner training one person puts force on part of the other person’s body. They press a stretch a little deeper, push down on the hips during a hip thrust, hold a band around a sprinter’s waist or pin the ankles for a Nordic curl. The movement belongs to one person and the force comes from the other.

Those exercises share the same rules, whichever stretch or drill you are doing: who is in charge, how to talk about it, how the force should feel and where the hands go. They are gathered here, and each exercise’s guide links back for them. Lifting or carrying a whole person is a different job, covered in Lifting, Carrying and Catching a Person.

The Person Working Decides

The person being stretched, resisted or anchored is in charge. They know what the stretch feels like, how hard the push is and when something is wrong. The partner giving the force cannot feel any of that, so they ask and they listen.

In practice this means three things:

Ask before adding. Before pressing a stretch deeper or adding resistance, the giver asks, and waits for a yes.
Stop when told. The moment the working partner says stop, the giver eases off. No finishing the count first and no “just a little more”.
Wait for a clear go-ahead after a relax. In contract-relax stretching, the deeper stretch after each push comes only when the working partner says so.

A partner who wants to help often presses harder than the other person would choose. The rule above is what keeps that from turning into a strain.

A Few Agreed Words

Talking while stretching or working hard is not always easy, so agree a short set of words before the first rep:

More for a little more pressure or resistance.
Less to ease off a little.
Hold to stay where you are.
Stop to take the force off completely.

Add a signal for when speaking is hard, such as two taps on the floor or on the partner’s arm, meaning stop. Say it out loud before starting, so neither person has to invent anything mid-rep. The giver can check in too: a quick “OK?” during a long hold costs nothing.

How the Force Should Feel

Good partner force is small, slow, steady and predictable. The working partner should always know what is coming.

Build it gradually. Pressure goes on over a breath or two, never all at once. In a stretch, add it on the working partner’s breath out, when the muscles relax most easily.
Hold it steady. Keep the same pressure through a hold or a rep. Pressing repeatedly or pulsing the stretch works against the muscle.
Never bounce. A bounced stretch pulls the muscle faster than it can relax and is a common way to strain it.
No sudden changes. No jerk on a band, no sudden release and no sudden stop of a sled or a running partner. A sudden change is what throws a partner off balance or overloads a muscle without warning.
Ease off as gradually as you built up. Take the pressure off over a breath, then let go.

A few drills ask for firmer force. In a leg throw down, for example, the standing partner pushes the raised legs toward the floor with real force. Even there, the push is controlled and aimed, never a slam.

How Much

Resistance is a load for the working partner to move. Pushing harder than they can handle stops the exercise doing its job.

The working partner’s form is the gauge. The knees stay high in resisted high knees, the plank holds in a resisted push-up, the hips keep rising in a hip thrust and the lower back stays down in a held leg raise. When form changes, the giver eases off. Most resisted drills use light, steady resistance: enough to make the movement harder, never enough to stop it.

Manual resistance has one advantage over a band or a weight. A partner can change it rep by rep, and even within a rep, giving a little less where the movement is weakest and a little more where it is strong. That only works if the giver pays attention to how each rep looks and the working partner says more or less as they go.

Where the Hands Go

Place the hands on muscle and on broad areas: the hips, the shoulder blades, the upper back on either side of the spine, the thighs, the shins or the ankles. Spread the pressure through the whole palm.

Never press on the spine itself. In a child’s pose, for example, the hands go on the muscles either side of the spine.
Stay centred. Push straight down through the middle of the body, for example over both shoulder blades in a resisted push-up, so the working partner is not tipped to one side.
Never push the lower back into an arch. In hip thrusts, leg raises and leg throw downs, resistance that makes the lower back lift off the floor or overarch is too much or in the wrong place.
Support the position you are in. In a cross-body shoulder stretch or a doorway chest stretch, the giver’s hand mostly supports and steadies, with a light touch that helps the shoulder relax. Not every assist adds range.

Hands-on help is close contact, so agree to it before starting, especially between people who do not train together often.

Stretch Signals

A good stretch feels like tension in the muscle being stretched, strong but bearable, and it eases a little as the hold goes on. Some signals end the hold at once:

Sharp pain.
Pinching, often felt in the front of the hip or the top of the shoulder.
Pain that spreads or shoots, for example behind the knee in a hamstring stretch.
A lower back that arches to fake extra range. In a hip flexor stretch, discomfort in the lower back usually means the pelvis is tipping forward and the hip is not opening at all.

People differ a lot in how far their hips, hamstrings and shoulders will go, so the working partner’s comfort sets the depth. A hold of 20 to 30 seconds suits most assisted stretches, and gentle resting stretches such as an assisted child’s pose can go to about a minute.

Contract-Relax Stretching

Contract-relax stretching, sometimes called PNF stretching, is one of the main reasons to stretch with a partner. It needs a second person to hold the limb still and then guide it deeper.

The giver takes the limb to the working partner’s comfortable end range and holds it there.
The working partner pushes gently back against the giver’s hold for about five or six seconds, without the limb moving. The push is mild, well under half their strength.
The working partner relaxes fully.
On the working partner’s go-ahead, the giver guides the limb a small amount further.
Repeat two or three times, then change sides and change roles.

The push is not a strength contest. The giver holds still and does not push back harder, and a hard push from the working partner makes the hold harder to control and the stretch after it riskier.

Anchoring

Some exercises need the feet or ankles held down: Nordic hamstring curls, sit-ups, V-ups and back extensions off a bench. The anchor’s whole job is a firm, steady hold that does not change during the rep.

Set a stable base. Kneel behind or beside the working partner with the knees apart, hips low and shoulders over the hands, so your body weight goes down into the hold. In a Nordic curl, the working partner’s pull is strong enough to lift an anchor who is leaning back or holding with the arms alone.
Hold the right place. Hold just above the ankle bones or across the lower shins. Press down with the palms and body weight, and do not kneel on the ankles or dig fingers into the tendons at the back of the heel.
Keep the hold the same. Do not pull, push or help the movement. A sit-up anchor who tugs the partner up, or a Nordic anchor who loosens near the bottom, changes the exercise and can cause a fall.
Pad the knees. For Nordic curls and other kneeling exercises, a mat or folded towel under the working partner’s knees is part of the setup.
Know the difference from a light guide. In some drills, such as flutter kicks with an ankle hold, the giver’s hands rest lightly on the ankles as a reference for height. That is a guide, not an anchor, and it should not press down.

Bands and Moving Resistance

Resisted sprints, broad jumps, bear crawls, high knees and punches use a band or a towel looped around the working partner’s hips or wrist, with the giver holding the other end.

Keep the slack out so the tension is steady from the first step.
Never let go. A released band snaps forward and a sprinter suddenly freed from resistance can stumble.
Move with the working partner. Behind a sprinter or a crawler, jog or walk at their pace and hold steady tension. Planting your feet brings them to a sudden stop, which risks a fall and a hamstring strain.
Stand out of the line of work. For a resisted punch, stand behind and to the side of the arm, never in front of it.
Loop it around the hips or wrist. Never around the neck, and never wrapped around your own hand, where a sudden pull can trap your fingers.

The same principles apply to holding back a sled: a light, steady counterforce that is built up and eased off gradually and never brought to a dead stop.

When Not To

Some people should not have force applied to certain areas at all. Leave out pressure on the back after a recent back injury, and leave out exercises such as the leg throw down for anyone with a current lower back problem. A joint that has been injured before deserves extra caution, and the working partner can always choose a stretch or drill done alone instead.

Giving Is a Skill

Both roles are learned. A good giver reads the other person, keeps the force steady, listens and adjusts. That takes practice, just as the stretch or drill does. Swap roles in every session, for the same number of holds, reps or rounds, so both people learn both sides. A partner who has felt a badly timed push is usually much more careful when giving one.

For the rules of partner contests, such as handicaps, banter and stopping a round early, see Training With a Friend.